I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
You've changed since you got that strap on
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
