dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
