All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
