You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
