never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
