The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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