Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
