You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
