News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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