Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
