Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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