Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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