Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
