At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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