So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
