And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
