Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
