I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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