I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
