I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
