why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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