SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Randomize
