And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
