I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
You took a bar mat shot.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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My first love was gay too, it's okay.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
