Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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