I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
