You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize