Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
