He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
