I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
