??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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