i don't like sucking hair
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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