What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
