ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
