you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
