Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
