Don't you send me to vm
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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