maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
