There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
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