i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
