you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
so let's talk penis.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
