Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Panties = found
Randomize
