The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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