i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
