I wish my penis had an off switch
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
