Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
