They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
