I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
