She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
