why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
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